Dear diary, I have enjoyed a mostly quiet week as she who must be obeyed was in Port Seagull for a work-related international kick off thing. It was the first time that she has been away properly since her human kissing spines operation and apparently she can confirm she sets the metal detectors off now

Dear diary, A lot like my stressage sheets of old often used to say, I’m pretty sure all our report cards would read “could try harder” right now. If the mercurial weather is anything to go by then our level of sacrifices needs to rise and Spring needs to at least start thinking about bracing